Four Top Tips for a Stronger Marriage

I just love Leo Babauta over at zenhabits.net. I never fail to learn something from his posts, and the discussions over there, in the comments section, are intelligent and thoughtful. Just hanging out there now and then makes me feel better about the world. (And there’s a reason zenhabits.net is one of the most-visited blogs in the world!) Leo has good stuff to say.

In his recent post, “The Seven Deadly Sins in a Relationship,” Leo says "While I can’t claim to be the world’s foremost expert on relationships, I do know that my wife and I have a very strong marriage, and have never been more in love.”

He’s failed at marriage before, he says, “but that’s helped me become better at it. I’ve learned the deadly sins of relationships, and how to recognize them and avoid them.”

A reader, newly married, asked Leo to share his tips on how to make a marriage work. “I wish I had a magic formula, but here’s a simple list of tips,” he says:

    * spend time alone together
    * appreciate each other
    * be intimate often
    * talk and share and give

Sounds good to me. And it’s so simple. But it’s so easy to forget these things, or to get too busy to do them. I think as parents, it's understandable that we focus much of our time and energy on our kids. And that's a good thing. But that relationship between Mom and Dad needs to be the foundation that everything else is built on in the family.

I know from experience that it's easy to get busy and assume that the foundation will just be there when you need it. But without doing what it takes to keep it strong, the walls can start to crumble. So tonight Randy and I are planning a date in the den with a good movie on DVD, a glass of wine and some popcorn — and maybe a little snuggling. (Proof that "dates" can be cheap but fun!)

Head on over to zenhabits.net to read the rest of Leo's post. You'll be glad you did. And thanks, Leo!

P.S. Corey over at The Simple Marriage Project also has a fun post on "How to Create a Passionate Marriage in the Shower." Check it out. Thanks, Corey!

Comments

[Corey - Simple Marriage Project]

Thanks for the plug Kathy. I have enjoyed your thoughts as I have traveled around your blog.

[Harmony]

There is a magic in time well spent together, and in the time spent apart, allowing space to grow. Again, as in everything it seems to be the balance of it all that brings lasting results.

PS. Another great tip for kindling the fire...(maybe not as inexpensive though)..."meet" for lunch or a drink. Don't get ready together, drive together or arrive together, in fact, she could be just a few minutes late and looking mighty fine. Major flirting is allowed. :-)

[Kathy Sena]

Corey, I'm honored to mention your wonderful blog! Looking forward to guest posting for you soon, and having you guest post here.

Cheers!

[Kathy Sena]

Harmony, I love your comment! I like the part about meeting for lunch or drinks, and getting ready and arriving separately. Takes me back to my dating days -- which is the point, right? :)

[Joan Price]

I agree with those tips and would like to add one:

* Laugh a lot

If you've been together a while, you know how to push each other's anger buttons (and how to avoid doing so) -- and you also know how to push the laughter buttons. My husband and I find that pushing the laughter buttons often keeps us close.

Joan Price

[Kathy Sena]

Boy is that good advice, Joan. We all know where BOTH of those buttons are, and it's important to push one way more than the other! Thanks for the good reminder.